Me: Psst. Psssssst! Hey guys… let me in!
DS106: What’s the password?
Me: we jam econo
DS106: ok then. But wait a minute, we’re performing an abortion on some fonts right now.
Me: What the f___ does that mean?
DS106: We don’t know. But we’ll let you know when we’re finished.
Me: I don’t care. I want to see. Now.
DS106: Hey go do your daily shoot and then come back. We should be done by then.
Me: OMG. Let me in. I’ve already done my shoots. I’m two years ahead in that assignment.
The Universe: Don’t be doin’ an end run around time. You can’t be years ahead of the Daily-Here-and-Now. You could seriously screw up a major law of physics.
DS106: Seriously…. come back later. We’re very busy.
[One hour later]
Me: Dudes… I’m back. Now let me in.
[door opens and out blasts Radio DS106 at ear-splitting decibels]
DS106: Where were you?
Me: What do you mean where was I? You wouldn’t let me in.
DS106: Sheeesh. You don’t need our permission to come in. It’s an open course. Everyone is welcome.
The Universe: They’re right. You don’t need permission.
Me: Ok fine! But do I still get credit?
The Universe: You don’t need credits. You got all you needed at birth.
Me: Hey why are we doing this Russian folk music stuff?
DS106: Because we can! That’s a big deal…. the “we can” part I mean.
The Universe: No shit. I had to lobby hard for that one. No one has any idea ….
Me: You gave me a great idea. Maybe I’ll do my 5-card story on cans, a play on objects and verbs.
Me: oh BTW… what was all this stuff about abortions and fonts?
DS106: Sssshhhh. That’s a carefully guarded secret.
DS106: We’ll tell you but you have to keep this one under wraps.
Me: I promise.
DS106: Ok, we’re working on alphabet 2.0, an upgrade to a 4,000 yr old technology. It’ll be open source. Creative commons least restrictive.
Me: Wow. I can’t even get my head around that one.
DS106: You will. Disruptive alphabet 3-D virtual-world-time bitches!
Me: This is getting out of control.
DS106: That — my young person — is the very point. Control yourself right out of that box you’ve got yourself stuck in…
Me: I’m inspired now. I’m going to design a DS106 pendant. How retro is that.
DS106: Go for it. Jim will like it.
The Universe: Who the f___ cares what Jim thinks. He didn’t get any more credits at birth than you did.
The Universe: In fact if you keep worrying about what Jim thinks, I’m flippin’ the switch and making DS106 an eternal reality, one you can never leave. DS106 in infinite regression. Accent on the infinite part.
The Universe: Have fun! I’ll check back in in a few eons. And good luck with the new alphabet technology. And rock on’ !