Cat bread is an ancient art that has been practiced for dozens of months, possibly even years. It takes time and perseverance to appropriately bread a cat, but luckily I can help you with that.

What you will need:

• Slice of bread
• Cat
• Courage

Optional:

• Oven mitt
• Band-aids
• Neosporin
• General lack of concern for your safety and well-being

1. Prepare the bread. Swish the center of the bread and gently tear it from the rest of the bread. A circle is the best shape for cat breading (if you are breading a hamster,a triangle is ideal).

2. Apprehend the cat. It is best to find them at a time when he or she is lounging possibly sleeping to do this. If you have an oven mitt available, this is the stage where you begin to use it. Unfortunately, one hand has to remain unprotected in order to hold the bread.

3. While pretending to pet the cat, slow place the bread on his or her face. They will realize they are being trick in a matter of seconds so you must be quick!

4. Snap the picture and run.Warning!

Cats are scientifically proven to be some of the most deceptive creatures on the face of the earth. Don’t let their cute faces fool you! Evil menaces lurk behind those pink noses!