So I am trying my best to keep up with blogging consistently. So, if you cannot tell that I am stoked about this weekend, hence the smiley face in the title. This weekend was Labor Day, just relaxing at the house. I will miss my bed dearly tomorrow. While I thought I was going to be out and about enjoying some good ole’ BBQ, I decided to be more responsible and stay in and complete my course work (ok, so I have my Big Girl Panties on
I have been working at the day care going on a month, I enjoy the kids very much there. I’m not a big fan of my supervisors. Well all in all I am trying to stick it out there. I have no choice since I am in the process of looking for an apartment and dealing with the many other distractions in my life. It just feels like I have no time for anything anymore. I have gone m.i.a on my friends and have not had time to do the things I have been looking forward to do such as organizing my CDs, cleaning out closets, and other junk I have collected this year. Okay maybe those things are not a priority, but hey it’s killing me to have disorganization.
As I have stated on my previous post I am a Teacher’s Assistant in a Pre- K classroom. Although I love the students and enjoy the lead teacher, I feel that I cannot thrive here. I am treated just as such a teacher’s assistant, does it bother me well a little, but I am coping with this disappointment of a title. I have learned to humble myself, even though I have a Bachelors degree does not make me the most experienced. So that’s why I accepted the job, that and including the fact it is ten minutes away from my house. I did not want to have a job that took so much out of me and I would not have time for my coursework, so as for now it works.
As I continue to work at the daycare, I have questioned my abilities as a teacher. I literally almost had a break down dealing with the kids one day. My classroom management sucks with 4 year olds. Let me rephrase that my classroom management is not up to par for 4 year olds. I am not saying I am the best with classroom management, however I did not have as much difficult with them as I have when i substituted or taught in the after school program. So I continue to question what am I doing wrong? There are a thousand questions floating in my head like is teaching for me, am I really passionate about this? why am I willing to give up so easily and when will I get my turn to have my own classroom, in my head waiting to be answered. I continuously try to emulate the lead teacher, Ms. Melody because the students seem to respond better to her. I know classroom management is one of those things that no school can really teach you. It just comes from within. I am constantly comparing myself and style to other teachers at the school, while I know that is not beneficial to me mainly because they have more experiences and years over me.
I do analyze my own behavior and disposition with the kids to understand the response they give me. Now, I’m not saying I have fifteen 4 year olds running all over me, at first I did, but not anymore. I have finally got them under control. However, I am still working on my tone. Largely this is one of my main problems, I am trying to use a tone that sounds like I mean business. Ms. Melody says that my voice sounds young and that is the reason I am having such a difficult time with them.
I have come to realize that working with that age group is not ideal nor a dream of mines. I commend those teachers who have worked effortlessly with this age group because indeed it takes such a special person to work with them. I don’t have the sing-song voice nor have I let go of my inhibitions. I think one obstacle I continue to encounter is I am not comfortable with who I am at times (or uncomfortable performing certain tasks at certain times). I think that way of thinking may have stemmed from school, always feeling out-of-place or weird. <— okay that’s another story for another blog. So moving right along, I will let that be my goal to do things that make me feel uncomfortable and go with the flow.
Finally, I haven’t made any attempts to implement anything in the classroom. Mainly because the constraints of my title and the daycare I work for isn’t as supportive to the teachers. <— Thats definitely a story for another day. During the school day, I am too busy cleaning after the kids and getting the classroom ready or in order. Also I do the after school program working with Pre-K as well. So I decided this is going to be my time to shine. Guess I will be doing a lot of Internet browsing for ideas.
So next post hopefully will show my improvements and a few laughs from the students. See ya next time.
Please comment to give me tips, books, or links that will aid in my improvement with management.