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Thanksgiving

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So while cleaning out my external hard drive I found this little piece I wrote, about my thoughts on cooking the turkey for last year’s Thanksgiving dinner. I figured since Thanksgiving was fast approaching I would share it, so that you can chuckle quietly amongst yourself.

Also if anyone is interested Google has Thanksgiving Recipes… I only just noticed this….

Lessons Learned From Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner

26 November 2009

This year was the first year I had ever been in the Kitchen for Thanksgiving. The reason? My mom wanted me to learn how to prepare a proper traditional Thanksgiving meal. She said it would eventually be part of my duties when I become a mother, something I am not planning on doing for a while. However, I was quite interested in what takes place when my mother kicks us all out of the kitchen and prepares her magical feast. From this experience I learned many lessons about how cooking in the kitchen works, so I will type them here so that many some other poor soul can learn from them.

  • If you want to eat Dinner at a reasonable hour, you have to wake up early.
    • A normal size turkey on Thanksgiving, without any sort of stuffing, usually takes about 6-7 hours to cook. With stuffing, you could be looking at 8-9 hours.
      • There is hope for those who don’t know anything! Most Turkeys have a handy chart telling you how long it should take to cook the turkey depending on the size.
    • There are innards that have to be removed
      • It blew my mind. Stuff inside the turkey? Yes, they are removed and used for other parts of the meal, such as stuffing and gravy.
      • Don’t forget the paper bag! For some reason all companies decided to put the Turkey’s frozen vitals inside a paper bag, which is also inside the Turkey.
      • We washed the turkey and give it a massage
        • The gunk has to be washed off and herbs need to be rubbed on. They usually have special “Turkey Rub” seasoning in grocery stores, or you can make your own.
        • Basically you have to massage these herbs into the turkey so that its flavor is released, don’t forget about the inside of the Turkey!
        • You put the Turkey into the oven at 325 degrees and don’t forget to cover it up– because you don’t want it to burn!
        • We used aluminum foil…. We also put an Apple Bourbon Pie 1 in.
  • You take a break…. Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade starts….
    • We forgot about the pie…. Midlife crisis
      • The pie ended up being ok (everyone can breathe)
        • Lesson learned
    • We decided to go to the grocery store to pick up a newspaper- for the ads
      • Grocery stores are crowded on Thanksgiving- people forget things
        • Egg Nog is expensive
      • Newspapers lose about 20 lbs when you remove Black Friday ads
  • Time to make the Stuffing
    • Still have awhile to go till dinner
      • The little brothers get excited and begin setting the table- I now understand why we were always kicked out of the kitchen
      • We heat a pan for stuffing – the innards in the paper bag are cut up and used, along with other various stuffing ingredients
      • The turkey broth made from heating the other parts found in the turkey in water is also used
        • Though not all- some has to remain for the gravy
    • Veggies have to be cut-
      • I found that a cheese grater is a perfectly acceptable tool to use to peel carrots
        • Until my mom finds out- no longer reasonable
      • I also found out that carrot chunks fly everywhere when you cut them
        • And my dog likes to eat them
    • Little brothers are willing to peel potatoes because they think they are helping
      • This is useful- they are out of the way and doing a very boring, meticulous and agonizing chore. I will use this when I have kids
  • Another break- football begins and everyone mysteriously disappears into the living room
    • Everyone is playing the waiting game
      • Ads are interesting….
      • ….. it would be the perfect time to do homework…. But I don’t have any, so I began writing this instead
  • Final Hour!
    • Begin to make the gravy….
      • With flour! Which needs to burns somewhat to give gravy a nice brown color
    • The smell of food is everywhere in the house
      • Everyone comes to the source, asking if dinner is done. Endlessly.
    • More waiting… checking email
      • With dial-up this takes at least 40 minutes
  • And My First Ever Turkey is done!
    • I wouldn’t have known, but this is the truth according to Mom and this is after all her Realm
      • She knows best
  • And so the Dinner Begins! 2

My Puppy!

  1. There is a story about this pie later ^_^
  2. As for the Bourbon Pie, it was to be saved for desert. However our dog had other ideas at the time. While we weren’t paying attention she ate THE ENTIRE PIE! Needless to say, that is quite a lot of alcohol for a pup and well yes… she was quite drunk afterwards.

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