Hi.

It’s been a while, Itinerant Intolerance.

Looking at the other blogs in the #ds106-ocube, there’s a lot of creative stuff being done. Do you remember when I said I never got to do the right-brain stuff? Apparently I’m only motivated to Make Art, Dammit™ every now and then and that’s the real answer. I’m not closing the book on that right now, but for the moment I’m just going to write.

Dave and I have been reading The Art of Manliness a lot recently. It has, in fact, inspired some changes in our behavior, some of which he documents here. Me, I got my first professional haircut in over three years just last month, inspired by this post. I part it to the side and use Brylcreem. I’m growing my beard out again (the particularly clever among you will note that it never really went away), but instead of not trimming at all for a year (which didn’t work out anyway) it will be a more studied effort inspired by these men. Dave and I resolved (but not new-years-resolved) to get more exercise, so we went for a walk today on the track at the school, about four miles. While we were walking, I picked up a rock weighing roughly a stone (14 pounds) and we passed it back and forth doing upper-body exercises with this rock. It felt natural, it felt good, it felt right. He even made a comment while we were using it about the fact that this is how our ancestors must have worked out back in pre-Union Scotland.

As you’ve no doubt figured out by now, the idea is “more masculine,” or “manlier,” depending on your preferred nomenclature. The focus is largely on image, yes, and I’ll tell you why: who you project is who you are, or, as Kurt Vonnegut says, “Be careful what you pretend to be, because you are what you pretend to be.” If you fake being something long enough, you become it. Now, obviously, this isn’t always true. You can pretend to be Japanese all your life, say, and never be Japanese, or I can go to church all my life and never actually be religious (though why anyone would go to church if he isn’t religious is beyond me).

So why this route? Why is manlier in a traditional sense the goal instead of perhaps more tech-savvy or more cosmopolitan or better read or more artistic or any number of other good qualities to aspire to? There are a few reasons. The most immediate is that my girlfriend prefers the archetypal man. (She tells me one of the things that attracted her to me was the fact that I looked like a lumberjack when we met.) Unless her tastes drastically change, it’s a good bet that she and I will be happier together like this. Next, I was brought up with a very traditional concept of masculinity, one which some might call outdated. I will reserve my judgment on whether this is actually the case. In any event, that image stuck with me and I have aspired to it, with varying degrees of dedication, ever since. I know we must all question that which we are told in our childhood; I have. I’ve concluded that my father was more or less right, even though he can’t grow facial hair. Third, if you take a second to read AoM, you’ll notice that his concept of manliness is the multi-faceted, multi-talented, well-educated and well-mannered man who always strives for self-improvement, and not the drinking/fighting/sleeping-with-everything-that-moves boor that seems to have taken his place. This is a mindset, not a reputation to uphold. To that end, my reflection in the mirror every morning is a reminder to do and be my very best.

I guess someone will interject at this point that these qualities – multi-faceted, multi-talented, well-educated and well-mannered – are not exclusive to men, and striving for them should not be restricted to men. That’s true. However, I believe that AoM is out there to counteract loutish images of men in media and bro culture in general because there really is no one else doing it. Every time I pick up an issue of Esquire or GQ it seems like it’s about how to get six-pack abs and score All The Chicks. There’s more to being a man than that, and AoM is about the only site I’ve seen that addresses that fact. See also: