My New Hobby:

The first dissection of the NYT I went for involved organ harvesting. I really like it, but it’s pretty grotesque. So instead, I hung it on my wall where I think I’ll hang Bieber, and all the other articles I destroyed. I kind of like the idea of having these clippings hanging all over my room. They look very creepy, but if you look carefully, a few of them are happy.

How I Maimed Bieber:

Although the title says ‘bad to horrible’, this article was pretty complementary originally, but I fixed that by going for all the unflattering adjectives.

It goes like this:

Bieber: an old-fashioned, modest talent screaming waifish, queasy, deranged, spectacles.

Mr. Bieber, middle aged and irrelevant, fades, in slow motion, waving a creepy, crazy screen with other people’s dreams.