I’m going to take a few minutes to describe the best style of restaurants ever.

The Brazilian steakhouse.

You take your seat, and visit the entirely optional salad bar. Next to your plate is a coaster, red on one side, green on the other. Red up, and you will be left alone to eat your meal.  Green up, and servers will come by as if from the heavens with the finest of meats, serving you at your pleasure an endless amount of beef, lamb, chicken, and an assorted amount of bacon wrapped meat.

The first time I encountered such a miracle was a few years ago in Myrtle Beach, SC. I was not prepared.  I felt truly American, which is a bit odd, considering the type of restaurant it is.  I went to one just this last Sunday in Baltimore, with a few people who had never been to such a place.  Upon being served chicken wrapped in bacon, we started a conversation about how chicken should naturally be this way in the wild.  Scientists, get on it. It’s the one of the most amazing ideas ever.

I’m not even sure where this is going, besides making myself hungry. I’ve definitely succeeded in that.  I’m not sure what it is about gluttony, but it’s definitely something every (non-vegetarian) person should try once. The restaurant too, is quite the experience.  As I said already, there are hoards of servers coming by with meats, there is literally at least one person constantly filling your drinks (ninja-style, sometimes you don’t even notice them), another person assigned to refilling your bread, and yet another to bring fresh potatoes and fried plantains.  On top of that is your “regular” waiter, who stops by periodically to make sure no one has gone into a meat-coma.  Every staff member is extremely courteous and aware, even in all of what seems to be chaos.  I’m rambling, I know, but every time I’ve been has been an amazing experience.

I’m hungry.