I wanted to know what people were thinking of who was going to win this years Super Bowl, and by Super Bowl I of course mean the Puppy Bowl!! If you don’t know the Puppy Bowl what it let me introduce Melena Ryzik of The New York Times describes the show as a “three-hour extravaganza in which a cast of 46 dogs frolics, chases, pants, sniffs, rolls, tail wags and occasionally picks up a ball (or, more likely, a chew toy) on a set resembling a football field.”

Now I am a betting man so I am going to do you a favor and break down this years candidates. I’ve done an elaborate analyses on all of the candidates so lets start off with this years top potential candidates for MVP.

MVP Candidates:

Name: Abilene

Description: The dog has what it takes to really put up some good numbers this years. It is lithe, agile and slightly longer than it is tall. It is muscular and powerful enough to work all day, without sacrificing the speed and agility necessary to cope with bolting livestock. Its gait is free and easy, and it must be able to change direction or speed instantly.

Name: Hunter

Description: The absolute favorite. One of the youngest prospects. This boxer has it all. It is exemplary in its combination of stylish elegance with strength and agility. It is square-proportioned with good substance and musculature. This animal looks like a god damn leader. A dog that can come and just wreck other animals. Hunter looks to be a phenomenon. He is bigger than the game.

“Sleeper” candidates:

Name: Anthony

Description: With a name like Anthony, being a pit bull, and planning to major in art history, on this dogs looking like a strong candidate, however, I see this is one of our leading candidates to fall asleep. Why you might ask is the art history a plus? Well because most NFL players majors are jokes. For example, the top ten rated NFL players (according to NFL.com) and majors:

Players Major
Tom Brady Organizational Studies
Peyton Manning Speech Communication
Adrian Peterson None
Ray Lewis Arts and Science
Ed Reed Liberal Arts
Troy Polamalu General Studies
Andre Johnson Liberal Arts
Darrelle Revis None
Drew Brees Industrial Management
Julius Peppers Educational Psychology

I’m going with my instinct by looking at this creature’s eyes, and saying sleeper.

Name: Mallie

Description: This animal has no aggression in it. It looks more related to a hibernating bear than a football player.

X-factor Candidates:

Name: Fumble

Description: Now don’t get me wrong, I clearly see the name is Fumble, and fumbling is not something you want in a player, but I am considering something I am going to call the “hooker name situation”. Lets go through some common hooker names: Candy, Destiny, Star, Amber, Tiffany, Coco, and Jade. Now these are all really nice names, but what do these girls end up becoming: strippers. The opposite. Fumble could end up becoming a god damn monster, just ripping through other dogs, but that is what could make him so interesting to watch.

WVP (Worst Valuable Player) candidates:

Name: Calvin

Description: http://animal.discovery.com/breed-selector/dog-breeds/hound/dachshund-standard.html

Name: Fonzie

Description: It just keeps happening that the dogs with the coolest names, happen to be the doggest I give the lowest chances of winning. Take Fonzie, hes a Rat Terrier breed! So I googled it and found this: The Rat Terrier is an intelligent, alert and loving dog. Very inquisitive and lively. This affectionate dog makes an excellent companion for those who will enjoy an energetic dog. They are good with children. I DONT WANT A DOG THATS GOOD WITH CHILDREN ON MY PUPPY BOWL TEAM! Those eyes, way too innocent. This dog needs a meeting with jail or Ray Lewis to have a chance to be on my MVP list. Even more it comes from the Tails of Love Animal Rescue adoption organization. This sounds nothing like the streets or anything Compton related…