Anything is horror.  That tingling of sickening disgust that festers in your gut and spreads throughout your body doesn’t always come because an innocent victim was pushed through a wood chipper.

No, horror can come in the whole gushing of ecstasy in idiotic situational romantic films.   I cringe at the thought of You’ve Got Mail, a classic of my mom that was forced upon me.   And my apologies DS106ers who view the film as a classic example of the power of the internet to create love.  I don’t care.  I will recreate the film as horribly as it is within the grueling reality of what life is actually like.

How so?  The featured image of this post will be the character for Meg Ryan.   I am still casting for Tom Hanks.

The scene will be my backyard and reflect the pristine park that the two find themselves finally unleashing their euphoric delight upon each other.  Afterwards, to carry on the film, I will move the scene into the boiler room instead of concluding with a cheesy typed out “The End,” since it is natural to consummate desires in such a confined and musty place.  Meg Ryan may lose an arm in the throes of passion.  Tom Hanks flesh may become tempered and emblazoned amidst the suffocating heat that is typically produced when two entirely different characters unexpectedly collide in a flurry of improbable physics.

All of this will be done on my phone.  Filming will likely go on this Monday.  The only challenging aspect will be to negotiate how I will actually edit this footage.  My computer has a failing display driver, and so I am unsure of what other resources I can turn to to finalize the project.