It has been awhile since I last blogged. Ok update, well last posting I was discouraged, yet had a positive attitude about my job. I QUIT. No I am not proud that I quit, but a lady has to do what a lady has to do. So I thought about it long and hard before making the decision and it seemed I kept coming at the same solution. Since I have graduated I feel I am not good enough. I have continously self-doubted myself and feel that I have let myself down. I feel lost and not motivated. I wonder do other teachers have these feelings as well? Well even if they do, are they willing to admit it? I feel like I should not have thoughts like this.
While working at that daycare, I realized I did not want to work with little kids. My main reason for leaving is that I was walking on egg shells, even though I enjoyed the children there. I felt that I did not belong. The events that led up to my resignation, I prefer not to discuss. Since I am back jobless, this is an opportunity for me to evaluate my passion and future goals. That brief work experience has shown me that I prefer not to teach little kids. I enjoy them, but teaching that age group is another ordeal. I see great qualities in myself to be a great teacher; I just haven’t been presented that moment. As the title implies I am going through hell (ok, hell is stretching it, but you get the point) and back and the best person to call upon in a time of need is the almighty Lord.
I’m feeling uninspired by words right now, so below I have attached a picture I remixed with Pixlr.
This picture describes my mood. I feel that I am standing still, while life (people, places, nature, animals etc) are continuing to move. It seems sometimes life can be a blur and people are too busy to take time to share, embrace, and look at the small things. I used the “Embed Image” tool on Pixlr and I created a Wordle (the wordle was created seperately). These are words that describe my mood, life, and the picture. I chose to use the film strip border because I was trying to capture a still moment like in a movie.
This image resonates most with me because I am trying to find that still moment among the chaos to find my way back spirtually, physically, and mentally. I am trying to find my purpose and rekindle the desire I have for teaching.
This posting is very sad for me, I have been feeling down. Until next time I will leave you with this question are teachers born to teach or are they taught to teach?
Once again please feel free to comment, provide advice, and share other wonderful stories & blogs.